self-portrait

I've been very unhappy lately. Not depressed, really, just sort-of . . . down. Bluesy. I know the majority of my sadness stems from hormones - I can just feel my period coming! - but there are other reasons as well. For one thing, I'm very unhappy with my hair! It's a silly thing to be upset about, I know, but I'm very annoyed with it right now. It was over three weeks ago now that I got it cut, and I admit I decided to go pretty short. But, for the most part, I like it. Sometimes it's really cute, like it was that first weekend, but mostly it's a flyaway, greasy-looking mess (even after I've washed it,) and the hair on the left-hand side won't curl right!!! The right side is fine; it flips up just like it's supposed to, but the left side always, always curls under! Grr! My hair must naturally kink that way, because I've always had trouble with that side.

Another thing I'm unhappy about regarding my hair is the colour. I coloured it a few weeks ago (the day after I got it cut), using the same brand (Clairol Natural Instincts) and colour (Spiced Tea) I've been using for years now, and it didn't come out the light, bright golden red it's supposed to, oh no! It came out dark! Too dark, in my opinion, for summer! Fortunetly, it's a semi-permanent colour, so it'll wash out by by the end of next month at the very latest, but it still bothers me. The only thing I can think of is that they've "improved" the haircolour somehow, and I'm wondering if maybe the improvements changed how the colour works on my hair. Either that, or it was mislabled, and it was really the dark mahogany, or something. I don't know.

Let's see, what else am I unhappy about? Well, my current weight would be too obvious - I've been unhappy about that for years now. Lately, though, and again I know this is just because of my impending menses, but, I feel like I've gained ten pounds since last week! I'm uncomfortably bloated and puffy and too often feel like I'm waddling when I walk down the halls. Gah! It's so embarrassing! Part of it, though, could be my lack of water consumption. I haven't been doing a very good job of drinking my 8 glasses a day, so I'm probably retaining some.

I'm also unhappy about being tired all the time, despite going to bed and falling asleep earlier. I'm unhappy about not having enough time to read books. I'm unhappy about not getting my Grande Americano this morning because the Coffee Guy didn't show up. I'm unhappy that I'm out of my Penguin Caffeinated Peppermints. I'm unhappy that I forgot to put dressing in my lunch bag, so I'm eating my salad sans dressing. While the veggies (tomatoes, cucumbers, radishes, and celery) are fine eaten plain, the lettice is a bit hard to choke down. I'm unhappy that my pants wrinkled as soon as I put them on this morning. I'm unhappy that I have no energy, ambition, inspiration, or anything even remotely interesting to help make my life more fun or make this day go by more quickly.

Gah! Screw it! I'm going to get a mani/pedi tonight after work, I decided. Hopefully that will make me feel better.