For those of you, my gentle readers, who don't read my blog and have been dying from curiosity, the interview I had on Tuesday went okay. Afterwards I had lunch with two former co-workers downtown and browsed a few shops before heading home. It was a nice day, but that's not what I'm here to write about.

For the past few years I've been just floating along in life. Not just with my career (and frankly I don't consider "Paralegal" to be my "career", or even anything other than just a job; I don't even know what my "career" is, or if I even have one, but I'm pretty certain this isn't it.), but with my health as well.

I know I need to lose weight. I'm 227 lbs as of this morning, and at only 5' 5" tall, I know that's not good. I know this. I know I need to start exercising more, and I know I need to be stricter with my diet. I know I need to quit smoking, and I really need to cut back on my drinking. I know this. I know all of this. I've known all of this for years, but I keep saying, oh, well, I'll start exercising on Monday, I'll go back on the South Beach Diet after I finish off this Mac-n-cheese and pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, I won't drink an entire bottle of wine by myself anymore, and I'll quit smoking as soon as this pack is finished. I promise.

This morning I went down to Long's drugs for a Heart Watch health screening. I had a total cholesterol - which includes the "good" HDL and the "bad" LDL and Triglyceride Level - full diabetic test (HbA1c Level), a full liver screening (ALT level and AST level), and an allergy test, (the results of which I'll be receiving via e-mail). Now, I knew it might be baddish. The last time I had these tests run was about five years ago. I was a quite a bit lighter then, I was exercising regularly, and I was kind-a sort-a watching my diet. Over the past five years or so, I've let stuff pretty much go to pot. Eh, I'll do it later, I'd tell myself. I'll exercise, eat properly, stop smoking and watch the drinking later. I'll do it all later.

Well, kiddies, later is today.

My total cholesterol is 211. (Five years ago it was 182.) Pardon my curse, Father, but Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ! 211?!! That's bad. That's really bad! My "good" cholesterol level was 52, which is well within the proper range, but the "bad" cholesterol level was 139. It's supposed to be under 100. Ouch. (For those of you keeping score, my triglyceride was 102, well below the recommended 150.)

Now the good news is that my diabetic test was pretty good: 5.3. According to the chart, 6 and below is non-diabetic, but still, 5.3 is close. Too close, considering my family history of diabetes. Also, my liver function is good. I worried about that more than the other stuff because one isn't supposed to drink alcohol while taking Vitamin Z, but I do all the bloody time. So far, so good on that, though.

Still, later is today and I have to change my wicked ways. I've already made one change, and that is quitting smoking. I had my last ciggie butt Tuesday afternoon, and haven't bought another pack since. Yes, it is killing me (pun intended). Yes, I've been freaking out. Yes, I'm going out of my freakin' mind! But, I no longer have a choice. I have to stop. So I did. Everything else, I'm still working on. I can't buy crap at the grocery store anymore. No more snack foods. No more Tuna Helper or other pre-packaged meal. No more fruit juice (which apparently contains a lot of sugar, which the phlebotomists told me is a likely culprit to my high "bad" cholesterol level). That sucks, because I'm addicted as can be to Oceanspray's Cranberry Juice and Tea! But, no more of that. I can have all the fruit I want, but no more juice.

*Sigh* Being a grown-up sucks ass.